[Bigi] The monogamous bisexual man

[Joe Decker]

Hi Tony!

At 02:12 PM 11/26/00 -0500, Tony Moulton wrote:
>Would love to chat with other biguys. I live in Vermont and have a 
>boyfriend whom I love, but is far more attracted to guys on far less to 
>women. The few bisexual men I've met tend to follow the philosophy that we 
>cannot be monogamous and bisexual. I think that is a fallacy. Am I alone 
>in that belief?

You are not alone.  Now, my credentials for agreeing with you
might be a little suspect (I'm not monogamous myself), but I know
a number of monogamous bisexual men, and most of them are quite
happy folk, monogamous by choice, by preference.

Moreover, I was a monogamous bisexual man for many years.  My wife
and I were involved for nearly fifteen years, ten married, when
we started heading away from monogamy, and that process really wasn't
that related to my bisexuality, although it did open up some avenues
for exploration that I've been grateful for.  (We're still happily
married, just no longer monogamous.)

>I am out to my friends and family. But they can barely comprehend and 
>accept that Im dating a guy, let alone that I am attracted to both genders.

Although I don't run into it very often (I hang out in a lot of
bi or bi-friendly spaces), I'm still always amazed that
some people can't "comprehend" bisexuality.  It doesn't seem like
that hard of a concept to grasp to me, and yet it seems very
difficult and confusing for some folk.

Cheers,

--Joe