[Bigi] The monogamous bisexual man - Definition

[Christopher Gerkey]

My SO and I use "duogamous" to describe ourselves. We're with each other,
plus I am with one man and she's with one woman.

Hi, by the way. I'm Topher - joined up last week but hadn't gotten
around to posting yet. I'm 30, from Chicago, and manage online
communities for a living. I'm out to my friends, family, co-workers, 
classmates - well, everybody except my delicate old grandparents, 
basically. Let's see, what else. I'm Wiccan. And a Capoerista. I think
that's about all the interesting stuff about me. 

Oh, and I'm non-monogamous by choice, not by programming. ^_^

Topher

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Bill L [mailto:tklwrite@hotmail.com]
> Sent: Monday, November 27, 2000 10:07 AM
> To: bigi@commonhouse.net
> Subject: Re: [Bigi] The monogamous bisexual man - Definition
> 
> 
> Good point Alan - which is why my wife prefers to use the 
> term "sexually 
> exclusive relationship" because she feels it is more precise than 
> monogamous.
> 
> Bill
> 
> 
> >From: Alan <alan_w@yahoo.com>
> >To: bigi@commonhouse.net
> >Subject: Re: [Bigi] The monogamous bisexual man
> >Date: Mon, 27 Nov 2000 06:13:00 -0800 (PST)
> >
> >Hi folks, Tony,
> >
> >Let's work on the term momogamy. When you say you are sexually
> >monogamous does that mean yo only have sex with your signifigant
> >other and no one else or do you mean that you're married and
> >only have opposite sex with your wife but have a boyfriend on
> >the side?
> >
> >My definition of monogamy, and I'm definitely not, is someone
> >who has sex with just one person.
> >
> >Can you be bi and monogamous. Sure, I know a couple of guys who
> >have been serially monogamous and bi. Over the course of a few
> >years they have had  both male and female partners, but never
> >more than one at a time.
> >
> >Alan
> >
> >  in that you
> >--- Bill L <tklwrite@hotmail.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > Hi Guys!
> > >
> > > I'm a married bisexual guy, out to my wife and some friends,
> > > and monogamous
> > > by choice - no coercion involved.  I tend to think that the
> > > choice about
> > > whether or not to be monogamous really has little to do with
> > > sexual
> > > orientation...although there are certainly those who disagree
> > > with me.
> > >
> > > I'm sexually fulfilled with my wife and figure I could feel
> > > the same way
> > > with a man as well.  I just don't think I need (and at this
> > > point in time
> > > don't want either) two or more sex partners.
> > >
> > > Hugs,
> > >
> > > Bill
> > >
> > > >
> > > >Hi Tony!
> > > >
> > > >At 02:12 PM 11/26/00 -0500, Tony Moulton wrote:
> > > >>Would love to chat with other biguys. I live in Vermont and
> > > have a
> > > >>boyfriend whom I love, but is far more attracted to guys on
> > > far less to
> > > >>women. The few bisexual men I've met tend to follow the
> > > philosophy that we
> > > >>cannot be monogamous and bisexual. I think that is a
> > > fallacy. Am I alone
> > > >>in that belief?
> > > >
> > > >You are not alone.  Now, my credentials for agreeing with you
> > > >might be a little suspect (I'm not monogamous myself), but I
> > > know
> > > >a number of monogamous bisexual men, and most of them are
> > > quite
> > > >happy folk, monogamous by choice, by preference.
> > > >
> > > >Moreover, I was a monogamous bisexual man for many years.  My
> > > wife
> > > >and I were involved for nearly fifteen years, ten married,
> > > when
> > > >we started heading away from monogamy, and that process
> > > really wasn't
> > > >that related to my bisexuality, although it did open up some
> > > avenues
> > > >for exploration that I've been grateful for.  (We're still
> > > happily
> > > >married, just no longer monogamous.)
> > > >
> > > >>I am out to my friends and family. But they can barely
> > > comprehend and
> > > >>accept that Im dating a guy, let alone that I am attracted
> > > to both
> > > >>genders.
> > > >
> > > >Although I don't run into it very often (I hang out in a lot
> > > of
> > > >bi or bi-friendly spaces), I'm still always amazed that
> > > >some people can't "comprehend" bisexuality.  It doesn't seem
> > > like
> > > >that hard of a concept to grasp to me, and yet it seems very
> > > >difficult and confusing for some folk.
> > > >
> > > >Cheers,
> > > >
> > > >--Joe
> > > >
> > > >
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