[Bigi] Monogamy or sexual exclusivity

[Alan]

Tony, all,

The real deal is that if you have a primary partner you must
communicate and discuss what your limits between you are.

I played the don't ask don't tell game for years and it almost
cost my relationship. I'm just as much a slut as very but now in
the open and honest and truthful and rather than my wife feling
pain and abandenment she gets off knowing I'm getting off. She
knows I still love her and want her as my partner but that I'm a
slut who loves to fuck and have fun. When she can join in great
and that's most of the time, but if she can't... Actually coming
out to her as a slut allowed her to join me in my play and that
even better.

There is a great book about how to have an open and honest
relationship. The Ethical Slut. It was great for us in a strong
primary life long relationship to see that the honest and open
and communcation based relationship can and has worked.

Alan


--- Tony Moulton <drkangell@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Hey everyone, thanks for the great input and conversation:)
> Thanks to bill 
> and alan for giving me new perspectives on the term monogamy.
> I think my 
> beau and I are sexually exclusive, however we recently had a 3
> some. It had 
> been a mutual fantasy and we discussed it on and off for
> months to make sure 
> it felt right, set up boundaries, make sure we were both
> comfortable and it 
> was great, if anything it may have strengthened our
> relationship. So maybe I 
> am... sexually exclusive in a one on one situation, but as a
> couple enjoy 
> eyecandy and 3 or 4 somes (with the right guys and of course
> safely;)
> And thank you to Joe for the great email, good to know I'm not
> alone, 
> Vermont is a great state, however you really have to search
> for gay/bi 
> socialization. Maybe its the deep winters that cause the
> hermit complex LOL.
> Topher, I am wiccan too. I know this is a different subject,
> but would enjoy 
> hearing more about how long, how you came to it, some of your
> specific 
> beliefs, etc. I've noticed many wiccans are gay/bi and many
> gay/bi folk are 
> wiccan. Interesting.
> Take care all and Carpe Diem:)
> -Tony
>
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